I’ve had a lot of people asking how I feel to be back home. So here it is…
I have had this completely new life for a year. New home. New friends. New experiences. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to settle but I had to go home one day right?
I have been away from home for a year, and the thought of coming back home excited me. I could not wait to see my family and friends and live back in the vibrant city of London.
I landed in the evening of the 17th July, welcomed by my family. It was emotional. I did not stop crying, it was nice to see them physically rather than seeing them as a pixelated image on Skype.
That night I went to sleep and woke up at 2:30 AM crying! It hit me that I was back home and it almost felt like I was trapped. I felt this moment of being out of place and the fact I wouldn’t be getting up to explore another city felt strange. Now I am sitting here at half 4 in the morning feeling hopeless? I decided to tidy my dads house, do some washing and read the news. I honestly felt lost. I would never usually wake up at half 4 in the morning to tidy up – That’s only for mad people!
Home hadn’t changed. There was still police cars going crazy within my area but what did I expect? It’s almost like I pictured home to be different in a kind of way? When I was away I felt so close to my family but then when I landed I felt different, like I didn’t even know what to say? They haven’t been around for a year (We kept in contact over the phone) but they were not physically there with me. What do I say I have been up to for that last year? It didn’t help I was really jet lagged.
I know this will get better as the days go on, it just felt so overwhelming. My phone kept going off and people kept asking:
“When can I see you? How does it feel being home?”
I still haven’t responded as I just don’t know. I feel like I am dreaming and that tomorrow I will be on another plane jetting somewhere new. No Rachel this is not happening because you are broke! Haha!
I didn’t realise how hard it would be to settle back in. I thought I would come home and it would be fine straight away but now I understand why people get lost in travelling. Coming back to reality is scary as hell!
Two weeks later.
It gets better! Trust me!
I finally feel settled and happy to be home. It is like a whirlwind of emotions but I feel comfortable to be back in my normal life again. Having a year away makes you realise a lot about yourself and people around you. In a matter of weeks I will be going back to work, I have caught up with friends and family, gone back to the gym and finally responded to texts! I have gone back to my old life with new eyes.
The main question everyone is asking is:
“So Rachel what’s next? Wheres your next destination?”
Right now I am staying put and figuring all that out. I do not have any answers in regards to my next move… And that is fine! No one truly knows what they want right? There are still a number of countries I still have to tick off and list of goals I would love to achieve. It could take years but I just need to keep motivated, ensuring they are completed.
I felt the picture I put up with this blog went well, I am looking up all confused. Confused… The emotion I have dealt with a lot within the past few weeks!
So what’s next?
Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions: