OK I honestly think I had a quarter life crisis. (IT’S A REAL THING!)
A crisis? What is that? The dictionary states a crisis is “a time when a difficult or important decision must be made.”
Twenty five is that awkward age, either half your friends are settling or the other half are team single, and I had no idea what I wanted. I would have a boyfriend and get bored so easily – I knew I didn’t want to settle down… Just yet. Then I would go out with my single friends on the weekend and get drunk and party and even that got boring. I felt disconnected with life and had no idea what I was doing. I thought I was OK – going to Uni, getting into my career but I always felt something was not right, unhappy in my day to day life.
We all strive to be or want something, I realised I was living in a fake world – let’s face it our politicians lie to us, family lie to us, friends lie to us. I was striving to be that beautiful model on Instagram, someone who I never knew and I was so insecure and unhappy with myself. Or I would compare my relationship to that couple who seem to really have their shit together. No wonder I couldn’t even hold a relationship down when I was comparing. I got caught up comparing myself to Facebook friends who seem to have the life I wanted – Let’s be honest – They probably don’t have a clue either. No matter who you are, everyone has their issues, even Beyonce has her own personal problems (Yes its true!).
Now if your trying to be someone else – that’s pretty f’d up. If someone inspires you, then that is completely different. I see too many people hate on each other and trust me when I say I was a hater, I would give girls dirty looks because I was jealous.
When you’re not happy with yourself you need to make a change, if this means a fresh start then good on you. Every day is a new beginning right? Everyone is going through a new beginning, whether you have just started a new job or left your old job, started a family, started uni… anything. You need to change yourself. You cannot get happiness from others because as soon as they go you will be unhappy again. Trust I have been there…
Going to the other side of the world has made me realise a lot about myself – The good and bad qualities. I was so scared doing this and remember the day I left my job and had no type of income coming in which was pretty scary. I honestly said to myself a million times:
“What the hell am I doing? Am I crazy?”
This is honestly been the best experience of my life and I would do it all over again if I could, I still have no idea what I want in life or what career – I could go back to my old career or a new one, who knows?
The best piece of advice I could give is find something you enjoy doing and take chances (You cannot let fear take over.) I personally love dancing – I can’t dance but I love watching people perform and when I moved into the city I found the best dance classes. Learn to love yourself and the people around you, but first focus on yourself. Smile! People don’t seem to smile enough!
So my time in Sydney is now coming to a end – Here is what has been happening in my final days/ weeks.
Help! I’m Closer To 30!
So it’s official, I am closer to 30 and I have never felt better. Wow, actually saying that out loud makes me feel pretty old. I guarantee when my dad and mum read this they will feel old!
Every year on my birthday I cry and think shit I am getting older and still don’t have my life together – ha! Well Rachel you still don’t have your life together, and still confused as anything but I am happy and that’s all that matters. The last 3 years I have made sure I am away for my birthday, I love celebrating other people’s birthdays but for me I just like to get away and have a quiet one.
This year was completely different and to say to least I was spoilt by my Australian Family. On the Friday we went to see Adele and she actually makes me miss my ex (OK that is a joke) but I did cry (That’s not a joke). Her voice gives me goosebumps, she is just amazing.
On my birthday I had the day off work and this meant one thing – Extra sleep! I love my sleep so this in itself made me so happy. Me and my family went into the city for lunch and drinks and in the evening we went out for dinner. For me this is perfect, I am not one of them people who love extravagant things, but I was well and truly spoilt.
I can’t believe it has been nearly three weeks ago since my birthday and I leave Sydney next week, so as you can imagine I have not stopped it has been constant all the time. I am trying to fit so much in every weekend.
OK so obviously I am not Irish but that does not mean I couldn’t celebrate St Paddy’s – so I did and loved it. I swear I just love the Irish. My friend’s housemates are Irish so we went to a Irish Pub with them and it was so fun but my gosh the Irish know how to drink.
Andy Warhol Exhibition.
Art has always interested me, whether this is Surrealism to Renaissance, so I decided to go to the Andy Warhol Exhibition – Before Pop. I always liked the idea of pop art but to see what he was doing prior to the pop art, even his photography has been influential. Bearing in mind, the photographs were taken back in the 60’s, you can see how he has influenced photography in today’s society. I think I am enjoying going to museums on my own a bit too much!
Fatyonce Does The Coggee – Bondi Walk.
So as I had a matter of weeks left I knew I had to complete the beach walk…. And I done it (With a struggle). I swear I am so unfit it’s crazy. It was nice to check out all the beaches.
Oh, Hi Kangaroo.
I remember when I came to Australia I thought there would be kangaroos running around everywhere – There’s not. I remember asking my family when I got here:
“So where are the kangaroos?”
They literally looked at me like what the hell?
So me and my aunt went to Featherdale and I loved it and finally got to see my favorite animal (Koala Bear – It sleeps the majority of the time so I feel like we relate a lot) and a kangaroo. I had the time of my life seeing these animals.
Seeing the most venomous snake in the world freaked me out A LOT. Although it was behind glass I was so wary and wouldn’t go near the glass.
Beauty And The Beastttttttttt *Singing Voice*.
So it’s here, the film I have been dying to see – Beauty and the Beast! It was amazing. It was the last Saturday before I leave so my aunt wanted to do something special for me so we went to see this and then checked out some really cool bars:
Stitch – A hidden bar, we walked passed it like twice as you wouldn’t even know it was there. A quirky bar with a 1920’s jazz theme.
O Bar – A revolving bar where you can see the whole of Sydney. When we got there I was like guys am I going crazy or are we moving… Typical Rach.
Books, Books, Books.
So this blog was written is one of the most libraries I have been to on a rainy day in Sydney – I honestly thought it never rained in Australia – IT DOES! This library is how I would imagine a library to look like and for a Sunday afternoon is was pretty busy. It makes me miss being a student!
So it’s my last week in Sydney, I can’t believe how quick time has gone. As I reflect on the time I have been here I just have to smile – All the beautiful people I have met along the way, the tough times, the broke times, and most importantly the best times! I had the nest leaving party and it was so hard leaving. All I done was cry – Whats even more harder is that you get so close to all these people then you have to leave which really does suck. I can’t thank my aunt enough for everything she has done for me… This really has been such a roller coaster of a journey. During my last week I went to a lot of leaving dinners including a few Caribbean places which were so cool and quirky. I had my last dance class which was so sad as well – I cried! Honestly my last week all I done was cry! Was too emotional guys! I will honestly miss Sydney so much… Here’s to the next 3 months, jobless and travelling the world!